Table of Contents
Funny Mitch Hedberg FOOD Quotes
RICE
Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
– Mitch Hedberg
BEANS
I like refried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re just wasting time. You don’t have to fry them again after all.
– Mitch Hedberg
CAKE
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake.
– Mitch Hedberg
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
– Mitch Hedberg
BANANA
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said ‘No, but I want a regular banana later, so… yeah.’
– Mitch Hedberg
KIT-KAT
I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people.
– Mitch Hedberg
CARROT
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
– Mitch Hedberg
GUM
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
– Mitch Hedberg
BOLOGNA
Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.
– Mitch Hedberg
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